Fuck the intro, here it is:
I used to be very shy, but now I’m one of the most social people I know. I can approach any man or woman with ease and talk about anything. I wasn’t born this way.
Here is what works for me:
Step 1 (mental state). I have confidence in myself. This has been created through working out, my own education, my ambition, and overall knowing my own worth. I can’t imagine approaching new people without this.
This is the hardest step and why I have it first. Everyone has different aspirations and goals in life. In my opinion, as long as you are striving towards your goals and doing your best you are halfway there.
There are ways to accelerate this process and one that I will write a detailed post about in the future. Sign up below to get notified.
Step 2. I just don’t give a fuck what you think about me.
Step 3. Even if you actually give a fuck, then you must not be doing anything fucking important with your own life to give that many fucks about me. So I could care less.
Step 4. I know that even if I massively embarrass myself in front of you by throwing up on myself or walking into a pole while drinking my cold brew, you are more than likely to forget about the entire thing a week from today.
Step 5. I realize that with every new person I talk to I GET BETTER.
Step 6. I remember that I’m going to be dead in 100 years.
Step 7. I remember that today is the youngest day of MY LIFE.
Step 8. I also remember that my life could end tomorrow.
That’s it. That’s exactly what goes on in my mind when I make that split-second decision to approach someone.
This is LITERALLY what I tell myself as I make the decision to approach:
“Life is short, I’m not getting younger, I’m gonna be dead soon and so are they, so who gives a fuck what they think. Fuck it, I’m going in.”
If approaching someone still scares you, follow the action steps below:
Think about where you are in your life. Are you proud of who you are? If you are lacking in confidence, this can be because of many things.
- Start by taking care of yourself. That means eating healthy, working out, and maybe most importantly taking care of your mental health just as much as your physical.
- Value your relationships. It isn’t about quantity so much as quality. Are you putting in the effort to be in touch with close friends and family?
- Write down your passions and pursue them aggressively. Not sure what your passion is? What do you do at 3pm on a Saturday afternoon when you have nothing to do? Start with that.
- Surround yourself with positivity. Are you cutting out people that are negative around you? If not, why? Negativity spreads like a disease.
When you combine everything above, you have a better sense of who you are. Once you do, you become more comfortable. Once you are more comfortable, you have more confidence in yourself. See how it’s all connected? It all starts with you protecting yourself.
You have to become naked though and be the real you. Stop giving so many fucks of the opinions of others. Do the things you love.
There’s really no excuse.
There’s 24 hours in a day. If 8 hours you are sleeping, what in the world are you doing with the rest of them?
Watching Game of Thrones?
Following your favorite sports team?
That’s cool. Do any of these celebrities/athletes know you personally? So why do you give a fuck about them so much?
Who’s more important?
Take this opportunity to reset your priorities.
Now, I’m not saying don’t go out and have fun or watch a tv show you like, but if you aren’t where you want to be with your people skills remember that you are the only one in charge.
Stick with this simple plan and over time you too will be where you want to be.
What’s the scariest thing about approaching someone new?