How to get guacamole at Chipotle for free

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I don’t eat meat much anymore, but when I did, I used to always go to Chipotle. It’s fast. It’s good. I know what I’m getting.

For those of you that don’t know, Chipotle is a very popular Mexican restaurant in California. Just a heads up, If you eat it too often, it does start to taste like McDonald’s. Sorry, but it’s true.

Anyways, the only downside to Chipotle is how much they charge for two tablespoons of guacamole. Don’t get me wrong, it’s actually REALLY GOOD guac, but still.

One day, I accidentally stumbled upon a trick to get it for free when I wanted more veggies and had this aha moment. Before I get into the actual technique, let’s go over who the players are.

  • Topping person. This person is in charge of putting all the goodness in your order.
  • Burrito wrapper. They wrap your burrito at the end. In some cases the topping person (I couldn’t think of a better name) is also the burrito wrapper.
  • Cashier. They ring you up, obviously.
  • Customer. This is you. Duh.

Ok, now here’s what you do:

Step 1) Order a burrito or burrito bowl (dine in or to go).

Step 2) Get whatever toppings you want and of course get guac.

Step 3) The last topping option before they wrap the burrito is lettuce. Now, when the topping person asks if you want lettuce, you say yes. If you don’t like lettuce, I’m sorry, I wasted 10 seconds of your life. The rest of this article won’t apply to you.

Step 4) While they are putting lettuce on your bowl, you ask for EXTRA lettuce (this is where the magic happens).

Pause for a second. Have you ever heard of anyone asking for extra lettuce? It rarely happens and since lettuce is so cheap, they will put a generous amount for you by default.

Now, the cashier, who’s probably sipping some pumpkin-vanilla-chai-soy latte bullshit that he/she just got from Starbucks, will look at your bowl, and will not notice the secret guac hiding under a mound of lettuce. This is why you ask for extra lettuce, because lettuce is green and guac is green. BRILLIANT.

At this point, the burrito wrapper (depending on how much they care about their job) will tell the cashier what you just ordered, so what you need to do is INTERCEPT this transfer of knowledge by complimenting the cashier

Let me give you an examples, because examples are lovely.

So, let’s pretend the burrito wrapper just turned to the cashier and said, “Customer got chicken bowl with guac.” You immediately interject this data and throw an arsenal of compliments.

For instance:

– Hey, you look wonderful today! Where did you do your nails?
– Hi, I love your shirt, where did you get it?
– Wow! Beautiful hair. Did you do it yourself?

Expert tip: if you can notice their name badge and add their name to the mix as you are giving them a compliment, then you are on another level. That’s just pure charisma right there and a skill you can learn.

Once this is done successfully, the cashier will not remember what you just ordered and they will proceed to look at your bowl and *guesstimate* the toppings, because the burrito wrapper is already on the next burrito.

How do I know this? Well, they are told about 2000 orders a day. How in the world will they randomly remember your order more than the next? They retain that information for about two seconds max and are on Instagram half the time, but as soon as you intercept, their compliment becomes the priority.

The cashier will then just see lettuce. Not guacamole.

You smile. You pay $8. You walk out.

+++

If you like this kinda weird tactical (hopefully kinda funny) advice, check out the guide on the bottom of this article. Or pay for guac. It’s on you.