How to Have More Things to Talk About

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“I don’t know what to talk about besides tech.”

My coworker was referring to his ability to make conversation with women. For him, solving this problem was like trying to figure out how to escape from the Velociraptors in Jurassic Park.

He’s making it much harder than it needs to be.

To me, however, it’s no surprise. His life is mundane and predictable. If he doesn’t see and try new things how can he ever expect to have other topics to discuss besides tech?

Problem: He stays in his comfort zone and never takes a chance.

Solution:

  1. Seek discomfort. If you stay comfortable, you’ll never change. It’s only logical that you do the opposite. The dance is backwards.
  2. New people. If you are hanging out with new people you will eventually learn about different perspectives, views, places, etc.
  3. Meetup.com. It’s the best resource that’s free and let’s you search for things you enjoy doing while meeting other people.
  4. You will die. Remind yourself that you don’t live forever. When you find yourself on the fence about trying something new remember how lucky you are to be breathing right now.

Practical example:

This past weekend I decided to hang out with a guy I didn’t really know. I could have hung out with my co-workers who were going to a social gathering, but…I already know what to expect.

Don’t get me wrong it’s fine to do either, but when you want to become more well-rounded your actions have to come before your words. In other words, you have to change your scenery before you develop an arsenal of social topics.

The fact that I’m hanging out with someone new, means I’m bound to have new conversations. See his way of thinking. Maybe he know’s a great dinner place nearby. See what I mean?

Comfort is the enemy of change.

What’s holding you back from getting out of your comfort zone?