“If every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite, would have to be right.”
This is one of my favorite lines from Seinfeld and I love how many of their episodes are relatable to real life. Sorry Friends fan, but Seinfeld is better.
In this case, I’ll show you how one of the episodes can help you get your ex back.
First off, to be clear, I have no idea whether or not you should get your ex back. That decision is up to you and the reality is sometimes getting them back just isn’t worth it in the long run. I’m happy to give you my advice, but at the end of the day, only you will know the answer.
Second off, if you email me for advice, please make sure you check out my course first. It’s in your best interest and it can literally change your life.
Third off, even if you aren’t going through a breakup this article can still apply to you.
Ok, to get your ex back (or in dating in general) a lot of times, you have to do the opposite of what you really want to do.
Take George Costanza, for example. Instead of being afraid of his fears and not talking to a pretty girl, he does the opposite.
The opposite strategy to getting your ex back is an attitude that is both standoffish and pleasant. One trait cannot live without the other.
Pleasant = giving a sense of happy satisfaction or enjoyment. No one ever gets upset at you for being pleasant. In fact, we tend, by nature, to want to be around people that are pleasant.
Standoffish = to be distant and or subtly cold. You may think that being standoffish is contradicting to being pleasant and it is, however, when they are paired together?
You become… the person your ex CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT.
Why? Let’s break this down…
On a fundamental level, what happens when we are attracted to someone? Actually, you know what, let’s go back even further.
Something clicks in our mind when we realize we are attracted to someone, right?
When you see a pretty girl or handsome man walk by you, the first thing that happens is you become curious and that is the very first step in attraction.
You may ask questions to yourself such as:
Who is she/he?
Where are they from?
Are they in a relationship?
Why did they just walk that way?
Did I bring any gum?
These are all questions we subconsciously ask ourselves when we see someone and initially feel attracted to them. If you know everything about someone, that isn’t interesting. That isn’t motivating. That isn’t attractive.
Merriam-Webster defines curiosity as, having a desire to learn or know more about something or someone.
You see…you need to understand that the more you are in your ex’s face (or the person you are dating) the more he/she will get turned off. You can’t attract someone by texting or calling 24/7.
That’s unattractive and they are left with nothing to be curious about, because they know everything.
However, if you take longer than usual to reply to a text/call/email or simply do nothing and that’s a sharp difference in your attitude, they will begin to wonder why. They will begin to get curious.
If you pair this standoffish attitude with being pleasant then it becomes very powerful. Because you may engage in a conversation here or there, but you do so minimally.
You don’t drag conversations.
You become unpredictable, yet friendly.
You say what’s necessary and do so smiling, but you don’t talk about personal topics.
You talk about the weather.
You say hello as you walk by.
You treat them professionally.
Instead of talking to them like you love them, take a lesson from Seinfeld and do the opposite.
You talk to them like a coworker.
This attitude is the foundation of getting your ex back, because remember, they broke up with you and YOU want them back.
Once they start engaging with you again and showing interest, you eventually will have to reciprocate it.
Either way, whenever you find yourself hesitating on what to do, take a lesson from Seinfeld and do the opposite.
Found this advice helpful? Check out my easy step by step course on how to put yourself in the best position to get your ex back. Space is limited.