The cure to social exhaustion

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“Being social is exhausting.”

This is what people tell themselves when they hit a roadblock or on the brink of giving up. The paradox is that it’s in these moments where you can either get better or stay stagnant.

It’s like lifting weights. The moments that matter the most are when you want to give up. “No pain, no gain.”

Back in 2010 I remember a coworker of mine and I were getting back from getting Mexican food for lunch (I love tacos). Food coma was kicking in and we had to re-focus for the back half of the workday.

I remember being 10 feet from the front door about to walk in when I said, “How in the world are we supposed to get back to work now?”

My coworker Brendan laughed and replied, “Mind over matter” pointing to his head.


I had heard that quote before, but for some strange reason, it sunk in a little more in that moment.

He was right.

You can have all the strategies in the world, but if you don’t have the right mental foundation you can mentally breakdown.

Now, I won’t say I’m the best in the world when it comes to social skills. I definitely don’t have all the answers, but I’ve learned some mental strategies that worked REALLY well for me.

It’s easy to give up and say to yourself, “This is exhausting.” It’s easy to walk away from a challenge. Heck, it’s easy to do nothing.

But how can you change if your mindset isn’t evolving?

Here are the three mindsets to have when you feel exhaustion settling in:

Mindset 1. Take a deep breath and remind yourself that the discomfort you are feeling in that moment is a signal that you are learning.

If you are always comfortable and complacent how can you expect any change? From now on, be OK with the struggle.

Mindset 2. Learn to love the process of learning.

For me personally, rejection gives me an adrenaline rush in a strange way. I’m a weirdo like that. I look forward to it, because inside I know I’ll come out better than I was before. When you view your losses as wins, you can’t lose. This is how you can begin to relax.

Mindset 3. You alone are responsible for what you do, don’t do, or how you respond to what’s done to you.

You are exhausted? That’s fair. How much work have you been putting in everyday to improve your skills? Are you truly giving 100% of your time to solve this problem or are you just complaining without putting in the effort? Still watching Game of Thrones? What could you read or learn with that time so you don’t feel how you are feeling right now? No more blaming. This is your life and you own every decision you make. When you take this no-bs approach you can’t point fingers anymore.

Keep these mental strategies in mind when you feel exhausted and be as consistent as possible. Let your skills evolve and watch the progress.

By the way, I suffer from anxiety.

What make you feel exhausted and how do you get around it?